There is nothing like the instant panic and sweat when you look in your review mirror and see flashing lights. My body instantly flashes hot as I curse under my breath while I pull over, ready to hear my ultimate fate.
But I am here to tell you that you are not destined to get a ticket every time you get pulled over. Here is how to get out of a ticket.
- Be polite and do not argue. I asked a friend who is a cop on how to avoid getting a ticket and his advice was be polite and nice as you can be. Being polite and respectful will get you far with a police officer. Upon immediately pulling over, grab your license and registration and have it ready for the officer. Politely ask the officer how they are and kindly ask why you were pulled over. Does the cop claim you were speeding? Do not argue and say you weren’t. Cops are not idiots and they can see a bold face lie from a mile away. Apologize profusely and you might gain the sympathy from a cop.
- Cry. This tactic generally only works for a woman and is less successful if you are pulled over by a female cop. Women know other women’s tricks and are less likely to be fooled by it. However, men generally are freaked out by a crying woman and will hopefully take pity on her. Note: fake sobbing is transparent. Only use crying if you can cry on demand. If not, leave the acting up to the professionals.
- Flirt. This is also more successful with female offenders. Now I do not mean overt flirting that is over the top and crosses any boundaries. (Anyone remember the Friends episode when Ross and Rachel got pulled over? The flirting was embarrassing!) But a sweet smile and genuine kindness might win your police officer over. Again, female police officers stereotypically do not respond well to this. Proceed with caution.
- Find an act of God. I once was on an awful blind date with the worst driver. The entire night he was breaking traffic rules (presumably to be cool) and it was annoying, not impressive and dangerous. He was going 75 miles per hour on a 40 mph road when the familiar flashing lights started blaring. I thought Finally! Justice for this awful night. Right as the police officer went back to write a hefty ticket, he came back and said he had a very urgent call and let this guy off the hook. To this day, I am still shocked. The only thing that can explain it is an act of God.
- Do not break the law. Generally, you are going to get pulled over and given a ticket for doing something illegal. It is hard to think of speeding as illegal, but it truly is. If you really want to save yourself the pain of a ticket, do not break any driving laws in the first place.
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